


Fitting In

by Harukami



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren sometimes feels out of place within his own family, not sure how to present himself as "himself", but there's no helping that -- is there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fitting In

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lee_cameron26](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lee_cameron26/gifts).



They've only just really gotten used to Ren being able to really be himself, not just in private but out in the open. It had taken him long enough to find a way to explain himself to everyone -- to Koujaku, to Mizuki, to Aoba's various friends and all the rest. Before then, it had just been Aoba and Tae who knew; Tae who knew the nature of their relationship and whose body it was, but refused to pass judgment, just sighed and tightened the corner of her lips and treated Ren the same way she always had. 

It's a limited truth they tell everyone, though, when they get around to it. They completely avoid talking about how Ren is living in the body of Aoba's twin brother, regardless of who they explain it to. It's enough to say that Toue's son had felt for their situation, that Toue's son who had wanted Toue's empire to fall had a kindness left for them. If anyone guesses -- and Ren suspects that Koujaku at least might have started to put two and two together -- nobody says anything; even Koujaku just smiles the brighter and congratulates them on their good fortune. Who they tell about Ren's own nature is small as well -- that Ren was once part of Aoba. Koujaku knows. Clear, strangely, also does; he didn't let things lie when he heard that an AI had moved to a human body, for whatever reason, and dragged it out of them. But it remains this small inner circle who are aware. Everyone else thinks that it's just a strange twist of fortune that a true AI was allowed to become human (and, Ren thinks, probably eye their own Allmates the more dubiously for it). 

"If they figure it out, they figure it out," Aoba sighs, though, when Ren brings it up. "I don't want to have to explain it to everyone."

"Of course," Ren says, because that's embarrassing, isn't it? Having an Allmate in human form is strange enough. Knowing that people will start to realize you're lovers is stranger. Thinking that you're narcissistic enough to fall in love with someone who once was yourself--

"I just want to make sure they recognize you as you, Ren," Aoba says, and Ren forces himself to stop thinking of worst case scenarios.

Still, it's a bit stressful, and at night, curled up against Aoba and listening to him breathe, Ren wonders what it might be like to be normal. To be introduced to these people just as Aoba's boyfriend, or, perhaps, his friend (if Aoba is being shy), and to think of that as the end of that. Not to have that guilty sense of lying to people. Not to have that sense that no matter what, people will have an incomplete idea of him. That perhaps if they knew they would think about him differently than they do now. But he can't even envision what 'being normal' entails, not really. He wasn't born like a person was, wasn't raised like a person was, hasn't lived like a person does. His ideas of these things are distant, only through knowing what it was to 'Aoba', but that never truly applied to him. It was 'Aoba' that Nine had called out to all those years ago, and in doing so, separated Aoba from himself and Desire further. And that was for the best. They couldn't function without someone taking the lead. 

But it's still something that isn't his.

***

The day before Valentine's Day Ren manages to brave the crowds of girls getting chocolates for the men in their life and gets some himself; the storekeeper has seen him before with Aoba, and she gives him a wink as she hands the package back to him, a conspiratorial gesture. He blushes, takes them home, hides them.

The next day, he gives his chocolates with an embarrassed stammer, and Aoba laughs, hands an identical package back. "Sorry, Ren. I was so busy with work I didn't have time to make homemade ones this year."

Well, that explains the wink all the more, Ren thinks, slightly scandalized, and takes it. "Please," he says. "It's no bother."

They feed each other chocolate, and that leads to them making love and, after, warm and cozy, Aoba kisses the top of Ren's head and says, "Let's get cleaned up. Granny'll be home soon." Which leads to a shower, which leads to touching each other again, which leads to cold water and scrambling out of it laughing.

They just manage to finish making themselves presentable when Ren hears the front door slam, and then chatter in the hallway -- guests, apparently. He gives Aoba a slightly alarmed look; Aoba gives it back. Neither of them had been warned about this.

"Aoba! Ren!" Tae calls up. There's a strange tone in her voice, a little strained. "You lousy grandsons, get down here! There are some people here to see you!"

They share a look, confused. "She called us 'grandsons'," Ren points out. It's not unusual when she's home alone, but it's not something she's ever done when other people are in the house. Not with them hiding whose body it was. 

"Well..." Aoba hesitates, then shrugs. "No helping it, huh? Even Granny has slips of the tongue. And maybe it's just because we're in a relationship, so you're like her grandson-in-law? We can explain it, anyway... Let's just go down and get it over with."

Ren pauses a moment longer, wanting -- he's not sure what. To hold Aoba's hand, ground himself? But that would make things even more awkward, he chides himself, and just clenches his fingers uncertainly at his side and heads downstairs with Aoba.

He doesn't immediately recognize the couple seated at the dining room table, the couple that Tae is making tea for. It's Aoba's indrawn breath that makes their appearance click.

"Mom...? ...Dad...?" Aoba breathes.

The pair are up in a shot, scrambling across the room; Ren stumbles back a little uncertainly as they envelop Aoba in a hug. It's a mesh of colors, he thinks numbly, which he is watching from the outside, red and pink and blue tangled together as they all grasp each other, start to cry. He feels detached, not at all a part of this, _again_ , and as soon as he thinks that, he feels guilty. More than anyone else, he knows how much his parents meant to Aoba. More than anyone -- because in the trauma of their leaving, Aoba stopped hearing him. Everything that has led to him being here in Sei's body begins with them leaving Aoba. Perhaps that's why he feels so at a loss suddenly, he thinks. Everything that has made 'Ren' his own person, not just 'Aoba's Restraint', was born from their absence. If they're here...

His heart aches.

They pull back slowly, tears on everyone's faces. "I missed you, Aoba," Haruka says, and Aoba, gasping for breath, nods. 

"You've grown up so nicely," Nine says. "It feels like you've truly found yourself, Aoba."

"Mm," Aoba says, smiling through his tears, lashes clumped together.

Ren, at a loss, looks around the room. His eye catches Tae's, and he finds her watching him with sympathy and understanding. But even her eyes are wet. That miserable guilt rises up more strongly, and he bites his lower lip. 

"Let me get the tea," he says, quiet, and Tae lets him fill everyone's cups.

But he's hardly finished, still holding the last cup besides his own, when Aoba says, "Mom, Dad. This is Ren."

"Your boyfriend?" Haruka asks.

"Y-yes," Aoba says, and Ren doesn't know what expression is own his own face. He takes a moment to compose himself before turning.

"Haruka-san. Nine-san," he says. "It's a pleasure. Aoba has told me a great deal about you--"

Even so, his composure doesn't matter. Nine, smiling, takes a few steps toward him and touches his cheek. "Ren," Nine says. "So you've found your own name too. Or -- no, Aoba named you, didn't he?"

It feels like the rug has been pulled out from under him. "Yes," he says weakly before he can stop himself. "Aoba named me--"

"I hardly got to know you before," Nine says, and smiles at him. His fingertips, where they linger on Ren's cheek, are burning. Behind him, Haruka makes a curious noise, but her expression is serene, patient. She's probably heard non-sequiturs like this a thousand times from Nine. Nine who, Ren thinks, heard Aoba's 'voice' before Aoba was able to talk aloud. "But you seem to have grown up into a wonderful young man yourself, Ren."

"I--"

"I guess we only ever adopted Aoba properly," Nine says. "Maybe that's for the best, if you're in this kind of a relationship with him? But I hope we're able to become a proper family now, Ren. I'd love to get to know you properly. Who you were, who you are."

And that's it. He's done. The tears that start pouring don't even seem to come from anywhere; they just well up helplessly. "I-- I would like--" he manages, and then Aoba comes and puts an arm around him, and he thinks that it's all right if he cries. 

Everyone else in the family has too.


End file.
